Bertunang

7th February 2010

Events that came to my mind on this day:
1. Ahmad Arif's 24th Birthday
2. 3rd Anniversary of my father's passing
3. Maisurah's engagement

How much things have changed. Bertunang (engagement) used to be a simple affair. Mine was carried out 28 years ago on Valentine's Day (how romantic someone would say) but it was not chosen because it was Valentine's Day but because it was a weekend and it suits everyone. It was a simple affair. My uncle and a few relatives (I think it was 4 of them) went to my future in-laws place to "seal the deal". The agreed time was 11:00 am. We arrived a few minutes before 11:00. I was not allowed to be in the party but had to show the way to the house in Section 16 Petaling Jaya. It was over before Zohor prayers without much fanfare.

Fast forward 2010 in Shah Alam. Maisurah, a niece on my wife's side is getting engaged. The guest list, I was told numbered 170. A pelamin was constructed (it must have costs a few hundred ringgits, at least). Three tents were put up in front of the house (maybe about RM300 each). A caterer had to be called in (RM15 per head I was told). A few hantarans, including the obligatory sirih junjung, had to be prepared in reply to the ones brought by the future groom. The male party (about 20 of them) came in a thematic grey outfits (must have costs them quite a bit). An Ustaz was invited to recite the doa. All in all quite an elaborate affair but still some one is not happy about the whole thing. "Lain kali kena buat betul-betul" was the remark made. How much "betul" could it be, I thought. But what do I know?


On the bright side, it was an occasion for relatives to get together. Nowadays, these events have become a rarity. Hopefully, it also strengthen the bonds between siblings, nephews and nieces and others that matters. I only hope we are not getting too carried away with the superficial aspects of a marriage so much so we forget about the more important spiritual and religious aspects which are life long obligations.

Congratulations are in order for Maisurah, her parents and siblings. Now that the floodgates have been opened lets see more taking the plunge to fulfill another of the Prophet's Sunnah.